Each day is a gift... and you never know how you can make the difference.
By: Anonymous 

One day, when I was a freshman in high school, I saw a kid from my class was walking home from school.  His name was Kyle.  It looked like he was carrying all of his books.  I thought to myself, "Why would anyone bring home all his books on a Friday?  He must really be a nerd."  I had quite a weekend planned (parties and a football game with my friends), so I shrugged my shoulders and went on.

As I was walking, I saw a bunch of kids running toward him. They ran at him, knocking all his books out of his arms and tripping him so he landed in the dirt.  His glasses went flying, and I saw them land in the grass about ten feet from him.  He looked up and I saw this terrible sadness in his eyes.  My heart went out to him.  So, I jogged over to him and as he crawled around looking for his glasses, and I saw a tear in his eye. As I handed him his glasses, I said, "Those guys are jerks.  They really should get lives."

He looked at me and said, "Hey thanks!"  There was a big smile on his face. It was one of those smiles that showed real gratitude.  I helped him pick up his books, and asked him where he lived.  As it turned out, he lived near me, so I asked him why I had never seen him before.  He said he had gone to private school before now.

I would have never hung out with a private school kid before.  We talked all the way home, and I carried his books.  He turned out to be a pretty cool kid.  I asked him if he wanted to play football on Saturday with me and my friends.  He said yes.
We hung all weekend and the more I got to know Kyle, the more I liked him. And my friends liked him too.  Monday morning came, and there was Kyle with the huge stack of books again.  I stopped him and said, "you are gonna really build some serious muscles with this pile of books every day!"

He just laughed and handed me half the books.

Over the next four years, Kyle and I became best friends.  When we were seniors, we began to think about college.  Kyle decided on Georgetown, and was going to Duke.  I knew that we would always be friends, that the miles would never be a problem.  He was going to be a doctor, and I was going for business on a football scholarship.  Kyle was valedictorian of our class.  He had to prepare a speech for graduation.  I was so glad it wasn't me having to get up there and speak.
Graduation day, I saw Kyle.  He looked great.  He was one of those guys that really found himself during high school.  He filled out and actually looked good in glasses.  He had more dates than me and all the girls loved him!  Boy, sometimes I was jealous.  Today was one of those days.  I could see that he was nervous about his speech.  So, I smacked him on the back and said, "Hey, big guy, you'll be great!"

He looked at me with one of those looks (the really grateful one) and smiled. "Thanks," he said.

As he started his speech, he cleared his throat, and began: ”Graduation is a time to thank those who helped you make it through those tough years. Your parents, your teachers, your siblings, maybe a coach... but mostly your friends.  I am here to tell all of you that being a friend to someone is the best gift you can give them.  I am going to tell you a story."
I just looked at my friend with disbelief as he told the story of the first day we met. He had planned to kill himself over the weekend.  He talked of how he had cleaned out his locker so his Mom wouldn't have to do it later and was carrying his stuff home.  He looked hard at me and gave me a little smile.  "Thankfully, I was saved.  My friend saved me from doing the unspeakable."

I heard the gasp go through the crowd as this handsome, popular boy told us all about his weakest moment.  I saw his mom and dad looking at me and smiling that same grateful smile.  Not until that moment did I realize it's depth.

Never underestimate the power of your actions.  With one small gesture you can change a person's life.  For better or for worse.  People are placed in each other's lives to impact one another in some way.  Look for good in others.

Each day is a gift! You never know what someone might be thinking. Be a friend, an ally, and genuine. And, don't forget to say, "Thank you!"

How You Can Help Others
·        Be kind
·        Listen without judgement
·        Share counseling referral
 
How You Can Help Yourself
·        Share vulnerably with trusted friends/family
·        Ask for help
·        Journal feelings
·        Use Mantras to remember “feelings are temporary” and “negative circumstances can change for the better”
·        Pursue hobbies that bring you joy

Private Counseling

Private Counseling in Alpharetta is a hidden gem in the world of marriage counselors. With their professional and playful approach, they make you feel comfortable from the moment you walk through the door. The counselors are skilled in their craft and provide personalized solutions that truly make a difference in strengthening relationships. To sum it up, Private Counseling is top-notch for couples seeking guidance and improvement in their marriage.

Written By: Michael Reynolds
Posted: 2/22/25
View Full Article

When you hear the term “coping skills,” what do you think of first?

Often, we know people (perhaps even ourselves?) that utilize coping skills in an unhealthy manner. This includes self-medicating with alcohol or drugs; justifying poor choices, such as spending over your budget; yelling at someone because “they made me mad,” to name a few examples.

The GOALS are to:

1.     Learn types of Healthy coping skills
2.     Practice Healthy coping skills often
3.     Implementing Healthy coping skills when triggered

So… what are Healthy Coping Skills?
They are things that you choose to do to help you feel better in a stressful situation; things that make the situation better, not ignoring the issue or causing more personal distress.

1.     Learning there are different types of Coping Skills needed to help with various types of triggers. (Triggers are things that cause a negative emotional reaction) Use a variety of the skills from the categories below to build your Health Coping Skills List.
 
Categories include:
a.     Calming Skills: Deep Breathing with Mantra; Taking a Mindful Walk; Yoga; Visualizing your Favorite Place
b.     Distraction Skills: Read; Crossword Puzzles; Play Videogames; Baking/Cooking
c.      Physical Skills: Squeeze a Stress Ball; Exercise; Use a Sand Tray; Build Something
d.     Processing Skills: Journal; Draw; Talk to Someone You Trust; Use “I Statements”
 
2.     Practice is key!! When you learn (or relearn) something new, you need to create a new neural pathway to make a strong connection between “trigger” and “healthy coping skill.” This takes consistency and time.
Pro Tip: Make a list of your favorite coping skills and post them in an obvious spot (such as your bathroom mirror). Looking at the healthy options daily will reinforce the decision to utilize them in the future.
 
3.     Implementing Healthy Coping Skills is a choice.  It takes effort to Pause and Choose to react positively and/or differently than you have in the past. You might have setbacks, but you can overcome them with practice and mindful effort.
 
For more information, Contact Bree 
 
If you know someone who could benefit from this newsletter, please forward this newsletter.
Request appointment online or email
Refer a Friend 

Clients often share that they are “worried,” “anxious,” or “scared” of the future because the outcome is not guaranteed (aka unknown). It feels like a unique experience for each of us, but it is actually something we all have in common. We cannot predict or control the future; we can set goals and make plans, but the result might not be as expected.

The goal is to use healthy coping skills to counteract the “fear of the unknown” anxiety reaction. Without using effective therapeutic skills, a person can be: (a) stuck in indecision, (b) overly anxious, (c) depressed, or (d) angry.  
The good news is that you have personal control, even in the moments of uncertainty! You are in control of how you interpret situations. You are in control of how you react to situations. 

You must be aware that you are using unhealthy and/or irrational logic, in order to shift to a healthier response.
See 4 examples below:

1) Unhealthy Tactic / Cognitive Distortion: Predicting the future
Internal Thought: “Everything is going to fall apart and cause me pain when (insert specific issue) happens.”
Healthy Coping Skill / Reframe + Action: “I am unhappy (or identify another feeling) with this situation, but I need to focus on handling the present moment.”
Action: focus on what you can control (i.e. who to interact with; how you choose to advocate; boundaries) by listing them and posting in sightline to review often.

2) Unhealthy Tactic / Cognitive Distortion: All-or-Nothing Thinking (Also called Black-and-White Thinking)
Internal Thought: “Unless I get all A’s, I’ll never get into college.”
Healthy Coping Skill / Reframe + Action: “What would the grey area look like?” or “Lots of people got into college with B’s and C’s; this is only one grade.”
Action: Ask self “what are other possible outcomes?”

3) Unhealthy Tactic / Cognitive Distortion: Emotional Reasoning
Internal Thought: “It will be too embarrassing to (fill in specific activity).”
Belief: because I feel it, it must be true.
Healthy Coping Skill / Reframe + Action: “Why does the idea of this make me feel this way?” and/or “What is the worst thing that could happen if I am embarrassed? Can I handle that?
Action: Remind self – “Feelings aren’t Facts.”

4) Unhealthy Tactic / Cognitive Distortion: Magnifying or Minimizing
Internal Thought: “I’m horrible at this job and will probably be fired (after receiving some constructive criticism from boss).”
Behavior: Magnifying any negative comment/experience and Minimizing any positive comment/experience – both out of proportion to the actual situation.
Healthy Coping Skill / Reframe + Action: “Constructive criticism is helpful so I continue to grow and learn. I am a good employee and my boss sees my potential.”
Action: Reflect on what was communicated (not on what you felt). Write down all positive and negative comments and compare. Most likely, you ignored the positive comments initially.

 
If you know someone who could benefit from this newsletter, please forward.