Blog Archives

Lonely?

10/27/2017

Loneliness: Can you relate?

Have you ever felt lonely?
Do you know how lonely is different than loneliness?
Being lonely = being physically alone at a particular moment.
Loneliness = a sense of being.

Here is what loneliness looks like:
* You are not anyone’s #1 priority
* Your love tank isn’t full
* You have friends, but the connection isn't inconsistent
* You need more, but don’t know how to ask for it

Struggling with loneliness is depressing, literally! The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual (DSM-5) states depression includes varying duration and intensity of:

Poor appetite or overeating
Insomnia or hypersomnia
Low energy or fatigue
Low self-esteem
Poor concentration or difficulty making decisions
Feelings of hopelessness

These are scary symptoms in isolation, but frightening symptoms when combined.

What is the answer to the problem of loneliness??

The simple answer is “be around others.” However, if you are feeling lonely, you know this is not as easy as it sounds. People care, but are busy. Friends are awesome, but have priorities other than you. Wallowing in sadness is not attractive for finding a mate and new friends. Hobbies require effort, which feels exhausting. Responsibilities pile up day after day. Life must go on.

All those negative thoughts are not helpful! They may currently be true, but they don’t have to be true forever. What do we all need to feel better?

Perspective change: life isn’t about what others do for you. Instead it is about all the small moments and embracing the day-to-day.
Effort: frustration can lead to giving up. Instead, appreciate the process and keep trying. This is the only way to secure results. Try reaching out to friends; they might not always be available, but one time they will be. Try hobbies on your own – new friends can be formed. Try talking more – awkwardness is temporary, but connection is eternal.
Faith: life is more than *you*. Believe in God; believe in the Universe; believe in more. Just… Believe.
Patience: Not everything happens on your timeline. (I know… I hate this too!). Rushing the process means you might choose irrationally or choose unhealthy outcomes. It is NOT easy, but patient is key to happiness. Sit. Wait. Listen. Trust.
Vulnerability: sharing your deepest thoughts is beyond tough. You might feel embarrassed or ashamed. Or, you might fear being made fun of or dismissed or judged. And, some of those things might happen. But, the people that truly care for you and love you will try to understand. This is scary, but so valuable.
Help: ask for help – personally or professionally. It is not shameful to need help. In fact, that is the opposite of loneliness. Embrace this!

Why do people avoid asking for help and combating loneliness?
·       Pride
·       Fear
·       Insecurity
·       Uncomfortableness
·       Embarrassment
·       Unknown/Confused

People are not meant to be alone. We are meant to be a part of a community. We NEED to be a part of a community. Only bad things happen in isolation (negative thoughts, fears, worries, crime, withdrawal, meanness, and other horrible things). Others help us understand our thoughts, beliefs, and fear in perspective. Without the perspective, we believe our initial thoughts. You, I, and all of us are great people BUT believing our initial thoughts is NOT always the best option.

It is time for a change. Loneliness needs to be your past; not your present and future.

If you are ready to seek help, Contact Bree Winkler LPC today for your initial counseling session.

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Do Something Different

10/1/2017

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If you want something you’ve never had, You have to do something you’ve never done.

Whoa! Simple, right? Wrong! It is human nature to want our wants to be easy. Of course, it would be great if Prince Charming (or Cinderella) showed up at your door and professed undying love. Or, if your dream job paid you more than you could ever expect. Or, if all relationships (romantic, familial, friendships, colleagues, acquaintances) were without conflict or concern. YOU is the operative word: You have to change.

I often notice people are shocked to learn they have break bad habits or change routines or get out of their comfort zones so they can experience something new. It is common sense; however, it is difficult to make changes. Even changes you really, REALLY want.

I struggle with this concept as well. The most recent example for me was deciding between opening my own mental health therapy office or continuing to see my clients in their homes. I could see pros and cons to both aspects, but I knew I needed to secure a quality office space for my business to grow. This is what I really, REALLY wanted… but, I was scared. I wanted something new, but I was afraid to do something different. Can you relate?

Why does change = fear?

Fear is defined as “an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.”

So, an individual’s belief about something causes the feeling. Once you feel fearful, you act paralyzed (immobile, unmotivated, stuck).

I’ve shared this before: our Thoughts/Beliefs cause our Feelings
which cause our Actions.

Therefore, if you change your Thoughts/Beliefs, you are able to feel something different, which means you will Respond/Act differently as well. This is the key to getting what you want.

Shifting your Thoughts shows that changes ≠ fear.

How does this formula help me? I stopped telling myself “I might fail and lose money by renting an office” and changed my Thought to “An office is the best option for me at this time.” That simple shift stopped me from feeling fear and replaced it with feelings of motivation and excitement. That was liberating! Actions quickly followed with research and planning. I couldn’t be happier that I stopped being afraid and started embracing this next step on my professional journey.

Can you imagine how this can work for you?

Do you want to let go of fear?

Are you ready to Do Something You’ve Never Done?

You don’t have to do it alone. I am here to help you. I want to support you and guide you to achieve your goals, desires, and dreams. I want to help you get out of your own way (your own doubt, concerns, fears). Change is wonderful! Let me show you how.

Visit www.PrivateCounselingGA.com to contact me about your initial therapeutic session. My office is conveniently located in Peachtree Corners, GA. I look forward to meeting you soon!

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What's New in Therapy?

Lonely?

Do Something Different

If you want something you’ve never had, You have to do something you’ve never done.

Bree Winkler, LPC, Ed.S

Archives

Categories

Private Counseling
Your Customized Mental Health Therapy
1031 Cambridge Square, Suite E
Alpharetta, GA 30009
(470) 231-9199
[email protected]

What's New in Therapy?

Lonely?

Do Something Different

If you want something you’ve never had, You have to do something you’ve never done.

Bree Winkler, LPC, Ed.S

Archives

Categories

Private CounselingYour Customized Mental Health Therapy1031 Cambridge Square, Suite EAlpharetta, GA 30009(470) 231-9199[email protected]

Private Counseling
Your Customized Mental Health Therapy
1031 Cambridge Square, Suite E
Alpharetta, GA 30009
(470) 231-9199
[email protected]