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www.PrivateCounselingGA.com Private Counseling provides mental health therapy and counseling services to adults and adolescents in Atlanta, GA.

Telemental Health (Virtual) Counseling Sessions

8/29/2020

Proud to announce:

Private Counseling and Bree Winkler continue to offer virtual, HIPAA-compliant counseling sessions for your convenience! Here's a brief introduction --

Author

Bree Winkler is a licensed professional counselor in Atlanta, GA. Bree specializes in helping clients (virtually or in-person) manage depression, anxiety, anger, and relationship issues.

Telemental Health Benefits

4/17/2020

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Author

Bree Winkler is a licensed professional counselor in Atlanta, GA. Bree helps clients manage anxiety, depression, anger, and relationship issues. Contact today for more information and virtual support!

Managing Anxiety

2/12/2020

Racing thoughts...
Sleepless nights...
Worry...
Irrational fears...
Assumptions...
Stress…
Frustration… Concern… Self-doubt…
When will it STOP?!?

Anxiety is experienced by everyone at some point (and that is normal!). However, anxiety disorders are present in approximately 30% of the US population. That means every 3rd person is experiencing symptoms of anxiety in their daily life. Sometimes these symptoms are debilitating (like panic attacks or avoidance due to social phobia). Often, the symptoms are intrusive (thoughts and fears) and create uncomfortable physical symptoms (sweating, headaches, stomachaches, shaking, crying).

When anxiety is managed correctly, it is a beneficial tool in helping an individual with motivation, avoiding a dangerous situation, or making decisions. Unfortunately, many people (including children and teens) have not learned how to manage their anxiety. When we don’t know how to fix a problem, a person is often scared of the problem. Typically, people try to avoid things they are scared of. Therefore, individuals suffering from anxiety are actually trying to avoid or ignore their own feelings! You might try to “stuff something down,” but it doesn’t go away. It MUST be addressed in order to be fixed (or at least managed effectively).

Tips on How to Manage Your Anxiety

Challenge Negative Thoughts: Your thoughts control your feelings and actions. If you think badly about something, you will feel and act poorly too! For example, if you think “I am stupid and my boss is going to fire me” you will feel discouraged. Challenge the negative thought by stating the opposite, positive thought (i.e. “I have strengths and weaknesses. Some of my strengths in this job are ____. I can work my deficits by asking for help/attending training/research. I will put in positive effort every day to do my best and be successful at this job!”)
Mindfulness: A nonjudgmental awareness of what is happening in the present moment (instead of focusing on past regret or future worry). Ask yourself “what are the things I see, hear, smell, feel, and taste right now?” Focus on those tangible elements. Stop your mind from wandering to other thoughts (usually negative or worrisome). Breathe slowly and focus on your senses.
Meditation: Sit in a comfortable place and focus on breathing in slowly (count to 4) and breathing out slowly (count to 4). Repeat. Relax your muscles consciously. Calm your brain (your thoughts) with slow, calming breaths. You can incorporate music or prayer, as necessary.

Make an Affirmation List: List all of your wonderful qualities and accomplishments (i.e. “I am kind,” “I am smart,” “I try my best.” Review this list often. You have to (re)train your brain to think positively and prevent your brain from defaulting your negative traits.
Positive Self-Talk: Tell yourself you are strong and you can handle this scary situation. Remind yourself that the worry will pass and that you will be okay. Counteract the negative thought with an opposite, but truthful, positive statement. For example, instead of saying to yourself “I’m not worthy of love,” shift to positive self-talk and say “I am a lovable person and I have proof of this because my family and friends care about me.”
Talk to someone: Your friends, family, and others (including your therapist) all want you to have a good day and feel safe. If you are struggling, ask for help. Sharing how you feel with compassionate people is cathartic. It also gives you an opportunity to experience your thoughts from a different perspective.

Exercise: It reduces levels of the body's stress hormones, such as adrenaline and cortisol. It also stimulates the production of endorphins (chemicals in the brain that are the body's natural painkillers and mood elevators). Sweat is also good for controlling your body temperature. And, then muscle tension from anxiety will be relieved!
Get Outside: Fresh air and sunshine are nature’s way of showing you some love. Embrace it!
Smile: Enjoy the moment. [Do it now] Did your body and mind shift? I bet it did 😊
Laughing: Humor is a great way to diffuse anxiety. Laugh the worry away!
Hobbies: Participating in your favorite hobby is a healthy way to distract yourself from unnecessary worries. You can draw, dance, sing, paint, listen to music, read, write a story or poem, play a sport, take pictures, or any other positive activity you enjoy!

If you need more support managing your anxiety, contact Bree today!

Author

Bree Winkler is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Atlanta, GA. Bree specializes in helping clients manage anxiety, depression, anger, and relationship issues.

This is… 2020 – The Year of Perfect Vision

1/10/2020

This is… 2020 – The Year of Perfect Vision

A new year is often thought of as a fresh start, a new beginning. This year, we are not only beginning a new year, but we are embarking on a new decade. Starting a new chapter with extra symbolism (seeing “clearly”), is an even bigger opportunity to embrace the year/decade with positivity, goals, striving for dreams, and making amazing memories!

One way I like to “focus” on this new path is with a word map. I’m a visual learner, so that means I retain and process information better when I can see it. (“See” it --- 20/20 vision – get it?!? Ok, I’ll stop with the puns!) Word maps are easy to make. You start with a central idea/goal. Next, you add topics/plans to reach the main goal. You will also need to add additional details off the subsets to clarify and strengthen your plan.

The first step is to reflect on what you want to accomplish this year. <Pause> Take a few moments (before you continue reading) to write out all the things you want to pursue, tackle, achieve, purge, and/or change this year and beyond.

The second step is to review everything you wrote down. Which things are long-term goals (3+ years in the future)? Which items are short-term goals (now to 1+ years)?

The third step is to deciding where to start. Choose one goal. (You can create a word map for each goal, but start with the most important and immediate first!)

Finally, you will create your word map so you have a visual reference to refer to until the goal is accomplished. Remember: life is hectic and it can be easy to get distracted from what is most important to you. This process and final picture will give you a place to return, to (re)center yourself, and to continue to move forward in accomplishing each goal!

As a counselor and always evolving human, a big goal for me is Self-Care. We’ll use this sample goal to illustrate how you can create your own Word Map.

Now, you are ready to brainstorm and create your own word map to showcase and focus on your “perfect vision” for this year! I hope 2020 is your BEST year yet!!

Author

Bree Winkler is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Atlanta, GA, specializing in helping clients manage anxiety, depression, anger, and relationship issues. If you are seeking professional therapy, contact Bree today!

The Holidays are Just Around the Corner

12/10/2019

Whoa!! –
Christmas is only 15 days away!
And, Hanukkah starts 3 days prior to that!
Are you feeling the holiday CHEER...
or are you feeling the holiday FEAR?!?

The holidays can be “the most wonderful time of the year” for some people. However, many others seem to be sucked into the stress that comes with the holidays – traffic, money, selfishness, time constraints, work schedules, gifts, parties, family obligations, vacations… just to name a few. Yes, some of these things are real issues to deal with, but some of them are perceptions and assumptions that we put on ourselves to add to our stress.
For example: Real stress: financial budget. Perceived stress: belief in how much money you must spend on gifts and holiday activities.

Tips to Manage Holiday Stress

Time Management: Look at all of your obligations and extra events. Decide where/when to complete each activity. Say “no” to other invites or requests. Stick to your plan (so you don’t resent the person or the event for “making” you do something else).
Self-Care: Ask yourself, what makes ME happy? Then, do that nice thing for yourself daily. Ideas include – bubble bath, watching favorite show/movie, listening/dancing/singing to music, enjoying fresh air, read, talk to a friend.
Exercise: Work out that tension out with sweat. Your mood improves after cardiovascular exercise. Your body gets stronger and healthier. You feel better about your efforts, your health, and your appearance. You make better choices.
Thought Shifts: Have you noticed you are focused more on perceived “have to” and “should do”? That’s a pressure you put on yourself. You don’t “have to” wrap gifts perfectly. Only you believe you “should” buy gifts for every single person you come into contact with. Instead, shift your thoughts to “want to” and “capable of.” If you like your mail carrier and have time and resources to give them a gift, go for it. If you don’t, that’s fine too! Remove the self-inflicted, negative pressure you are putting on yourself.
Communication: Sometimes it is tough to interact with family, coworkers, and friends. Decide, this year, to either 1) say how you feel and what you need from them OR 2) let it go and just live your life without it. Staying in limbo is so exhausting!
Fun! Choose joy! Embrace gratitude daily, especially in the little things. Cut out the nonessentials to make space in your day (and in your mind) for random things that make you smile and laugh.
Ask for Help: Need a supportive, empathetic person to talk to? Everybody does!! Having a safe and loving support system is very important. If you need to add professional help to your support system, contact Bree Winkler or research other therapists.

I hope you have a wonderful, and peaceful, holiday season! May your days be filled with love, purpose, and laughter. Implementing these strategies can start today AND can continue into (and beyond) 2020!

Author

Bree Winkler is a licensed professional counselor in Atlanta, GA. Bree specializes in helping clients manage anxiety, depression, anger, and relationship issues.

WIN or LEARN -- both have positive effects!

10/19/2019

It’s natural to be competitive. We obviously compete with others at work and when playing sports. Other times, competition can be subtle (or unnecessary), like when driving, dating, communicating, participating in hobbies, fashion, or parenting. We also compete with ourselves (i.e. PR for an athletic event). Basically, competition (and the outcome of it) is for YOU not for the other person – assuming the other person even knows they are in competition with you!

Many people try to avoid competition. Why? Several possible reasons:

Fear of Failure: People want to WIN. But, when you compete, winning is not a guarantee.
Uncomfortable with Conflict: Not every individual is content engaging in obvious competition (or conflict).
Embarrassment: Your core belief may be that losing is bad and not acceptable.
Seek Security: If you don’t try, you can’t fail.

Here’s the problem: When you don’t participate, you don’t experience success or failure!
How do you…?

WIN: You must participate and do your best (and be better than someone else in that moment). Winning is great because you get to experience personal gratification. Sometimes you get praise from others or even a medal!
LEARN: You must participate and reflect on your experience to determine what went well and what can be changed next time. Learning is amazing! You get to gain knowledge about yourself and others. You develop and strengthen your character, resilience, determination, perseverance, and self-respect.

Can you win and learn? Of course. But you can also win and not learn; as well as lose and not learn. The important points:

Choose to participate!
Choose to reflect on the outcome of participating (win or lose).
Don’t allow yourself to avoid competition. Refer to #1 and #2 for encouragement.

Author

Bree Winkler is a licensed professional counselor in Atlanta, GA. Bree specializes in helping clients manage anxiety, depression, anger, and relationship issues.

The Value of Sleep

9/10/2019

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention guidelines for proper sleep include:

Teenagers: 8-10 hours per night
Adults: 7-9 hours per night

A “good night’s sleep” requires consistent sleep hygiene. Effective sleep hygiene recommendations are:

Consistent bedtime each night
Consistent wake time each morning
Reserve time in bed for sleep or sex only
No phone or TV time in bed
No “screens” at least an hour before bedtime (if falling/staying asleep is difficult)
Don’t hit the “snooze” button
Journal any barriers to sleep (i.e. racing thoughts, fears, worries, difficult situations to solve, etc.)

Physical Benefits of Sleep:

Decrease Inflammation in the Body – Getting less than 6 hours of sleep per night is associated with increased risk for heart disease, diabetes, arthritis, stroke, and premature aging.
Muscle Relief -- During REM sleep, muscles are relaxed, which can help relieve tension and reduce symptoms of certain types of chronic pain. Just like you couldn't mentally focus for 24-hours straight at your day job, your body needs a break to chill out so it can conquer the next day with gusto.
Weight Management -- Sleep and metabolism are controlled by the same sectors of the brain, so when you are sleepy, certain hormones go up in your blood, and those same hormones drive appetite.
Athletic Performance – 8+ hours of sleep per night improves athletic stamina, decreases fatigue, and improves muscle recovery.

Mental Benefits of Sleep:

Memory – Sleep allows you to marinate on what you learned during the day and “practice” those skills subconsciously. Positive experiences can be relived productively at while asleep.
Attention – Lack of sleep in children can mimic symptoms of ADHD (hyperactivity, lack of focus, easily distracted, and impulsivity).
Learning – Consistently receiving 8-10 hours of sleep each night promotes brain activity and improves brain functioning at school and work.
Safety while Driving – Proper sleep improves your reaction time and decision-making ability.
Creativity – Quality sleep allows the brain to process emotions and spur creativity.

Emotional Benefits of Sleep:

Stress Relief – Sleep gives you a break from triggers, lowers your blood pressure, and decreases your heart rate so you can relax.
Mental Health – Manage depression and anxiety with effective sleep. Sleep decreases irritability, mood swings, nervousness, and irrational thoughts. More sleep = improved mood and daily outlook on life.
Rejuvenation – Your brain is busy restoring itself while you sleep. While you're awake, certain neurons in the brain are actively producing a chemical called adenosine, which is a by-product of cell activities. When this chemical builds up, it causes you to feel sleepy. While you’re busy catching up on zzz’s, though, your body clears itself of adenosine, which allows you to awaken feeling alert and refreshed, rather than tired.
Quality of Life – You can “live your best life” and avoid “FOMO” (fear of missing out) by being well-rested and ready to embrace each day with renewed energy.

Disclaimer: Those individuals living with clinical depression, anxiety, or other mental health diagnoses will benefit from proper sleep hygiene; however, it will not “cure” an individual from their diagnosis. Instead, it is part of a healthy lifestyle (which includes therapy, exercise, supportive relationships, proper diet, coping skills, and sometimes medication) to manage their mental health symptoms and daily functioning.

Sources:
www.Health.com
www.Sleep.org
www.CDC.gov

Author

Bree Winkler is a Licensed Professional Counselor near Atlanta, GA. Bree specializes in helping clients manage anxiety, depression, anger, and relationship issues.

Living the Life You Truly Desire

6/9/2019

Turn on the TV, look at social media, or overhear conversations at work and you will be inundated with negativity, fear, danger, and concerns. It’s not realistic to live in a bubble (although, sometimes that seems like a nice option). It can be easy to get drawn into the daily “crises” of life. However, if you live each day as a crisis, you will live each day with fear, failure, and fatigue.

Resilience is rebounding from pain and danger (actual or perceived). We need resilience to build confidence and self-esteem. When we face difficult situations, we become stronger by experiencing it (instead of running away from it) and learning from it. This process allows us to believe in our ability to handle other, difficult situations in the future.

I was recently introduced to a new parenting term: Lawnmower Parent. This type of parent is someone who believes they must “mow” down the path of difficulty for their child to succeed. I worked as a middle school counselor for 14 years and saw many parents “advocating” excessively for their children. For example, arguing and disputing assignments where their child received a less-than-acceptable grade; complaining to principal about said teacher; posting online/complaining to other parents about teachers; getting a educational diagnosis for extended time on tests so their child has more time to get a higher score; begging teachers for extensions on projects because their child procrastinated or forgot; leaving work to bring their child an assignment they forgot to avoid a reduced grade for late work (just to name a few!).

How are these children going to be able to learn to be resilient if they don’t experience any obstacles to overcome? Do you want your child (or yourself) to be so scared of failure, of not being “perfect”, that you: Don’t set high goals? Don’t try to reach your dreams? Don’t allow yourself to feel the pride of recovering from pain?

There are some simple, daily activities you can practice to help you reframe how you approach life.

1. Mantra – This is the practice of repeating a phrase. For counseling, choosing a phrase that is meaningful, positive, and centers you on a healthy focus.

For example: “I am capable.” “I can handle this.” “Feelings are temporary.” “This pain will pass – breathe.” “Breathe in strength (or other positive concept). Breathe out fear (or other negative concept that is holding you back).”

2. Visualization – This is the practice of actively imagining a positive outcome. For counseling, you can visualize a calming place if you are experience stress, visualize accomplishing a goal, visualize preparing to successfully handle a difficult conversation or experience.

Calming place example: The beach. Close your eyes and picture the sight of the waves rolling in, of the sun setting with pretty red and orange colors. Imagine the sounds or the waves crashing, the birds chirping, the people laughing/playing. Smell the salt water. Feel the hot sand beneath your toes, the sun touching your skin.
Goal Accomplishment example: What is the end result for your goal? What does this look like? What will it feel like to get to this goal? How will you reward yourself for staying focused on this goal?
Communication/Anxiety example: First, remind yourself it is often more stressful to worry about what “might” happen. Meaning, the actual experience is usually much less painful than you fear. Therefore, imagine a positive experience; imagine being able to be relaxed and confident; imagine being able to listen and respond to the actual conversation (not the made-up one in your head). Then, breathe and proceed.

3. Daily Positivity – When you wake up each morning, choose to visualize (hope) something good will happen to you or someone you love today. It starts your day on a positive path of looking for goodness in the world!

If you need help understanding, applying, or processing these daily practices, therapy may be beneficial for you.

Author

Bree Winkler is a licensed professional counselor in Atlanta, GA. Bree specializes in helping clients manage anxiety, depression, anger, and relationship issues. Contact Bree today to schedule your initial session.

Harboring Bitterness

5/11/2019

Life is… complicated. So true! If you are lucky, you experience many wonderful moments, develop meaningful relationships, participate in amazing experiences, laugh often, find joy in the day-to-day things, and feel loved. Unfortunately, throughout your life, you will definitely experience some negative moments. These moments might be scary, disappointing, traumatic, abusive, sad, lonely, fearful, and/or painful. Some individuals experience a lifetime of pain and hurt; others have moments of distress or sorrow, but also moments of happiness.

This blog post is for anyone who has been hurt – emotionally. When your feelings have been hurt, that is your truth. How do you recover from that pain? Do you recover from that pain? Or, do you stuff it down deep inside until it seethes into your conscious thoughts randomly (days, weeks, years later)?

If you are one of millions of Americans who struggle with forgiveness, you can probably relate to the experience of having your past hurts become your present pain. This present pain can be even more intense than the original hurt because it is layered with bitterness and anger. Whoa - that’s a lot of damage you are doing to yourself!

Don’t let the person(s) who hurt you continue to control your mind and your life!

How to Forgive

First, be open to the concept of forgiveness. (let that sink in)

Second, understand that forgiveness is NOT for the person who has hurt you (through rejection, insults, disrespect, being fake, lying, sharing secrets, breaking trust, lack of care for your well-being, and so much more).

Third, change your definition of forgiveness to the following:

Forgiveness is about refusing to replay past hurts in your mind over and over again, like a broken record.
Forgiveness is about freeing up and putting to better use the energy that is being consumed by holding on to grudges, harboring resentments, and nursing old wounds.
Forgiveness is about moving on.
Forgiveness is about choosing serenity and happiness over righteous anger.
Forgiveness is about realizing that anger and resentment don’t serve you well.
Forgiveness is about giving yourself a clean slate.

Finally, empower yourself to keep your mind focused on healing by practicing (one or more of) the following options:

Mantra – a short phrase. For example, “I can let go of the past hurt and embrace the present contentment.”
Meditation – calmly breathing in and out while clearing your mind of negative or racing thoughts.
Reframe – Shift your current (negative) thoughts to more positive, productive thoughts. For example: If your original thought is “I can’t get over this; I wish I could get revenge” then your reframe thought could be “I have control of my thoughts; I will not let this experience continue to hurt me today and into my future. I will let go of negative thoughts so I can let go of the past pain.”
Gratitude – expression of things you are thankful for, including things you have survived.
Prayer – asking for help from a higher power. Consider using these scriptures to help you:
- For if you forgive others their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. (Matthew 6:14)
- Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:31-32)
- Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. (Romans 12:21)
Positive Self-Talk – reminders you say to yourself with kindness. For example: “I am strong because I survived this abuse!” or “I feel sad and disappointed, but this is temporary and I will be okay.”
Communicate – share your experiences and feelings with someone you trust. Process the situation. Cry if you need to. Remember you aren’t alone and people do care for you.

Through forgiveness, you will be able to:

Live your best life today!
Release tension in your muscles
Think more clearly

If you need to help with healing from hurt (regardless if it is small or large), contact Bree today for professional counseling help.

Author

Bree Winkler is a licensed professional counselor in Atlanta, GA. Bree specializes in helping clients manage anxiety, depression, anger, and relationship issues. Contact Bree today to schedule your initial session.

Mindful Blog – Be Balanced

4/8/2019

Welcome back to the weekly blog from Private Counseling dedicated to Mindfulness!

-- Quick Recap --
Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we’re doing, and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on around us.
Myth: Mindfulness = completely clearing your mind of any thoughts, breathing calmly, and being peaceful.
Truth: There are MANY ways to be mindful! I hope it is a relief for you to realize that you don’t have to empty your mind (because that can be almost impossible). We will focus on 6 categories of Mindfulness (created by Dr. Elisha Goldstein) – 1) Being Calm 2) Being in the Here and Now 3) Being Good to Yourself 4) Being Happy 5) Being Kind 6) Being Balanced

This week’s goal is to Be Balanced:
by Growing into Life

Pause and notice the moments when you believe you simply cannot do something (such as run farther, lift more weight, be patient, trust someone, ask for a raise, move to a new home or city, stick to a budget, change a bad habit, try a new hobby, etc).

You might be thinking, “I tried this before and I’m just not capable of doing it well.”

Shifting your thoughts allows you to expand your perspective and grow! Can you ask yourself this instead, “Is there another way I can look at this? Could this be an opportunity instead of a setback?”

Goal: Be kind to yourself through balance, perspective, and patience.

To make positive changes and achieve mental health balance, ask yourself, “What do I need right now? What can I do to believe in myself in this moment?”

Author

Bree Winkler is a licensed professional counselor in Atlanta, GA. Bree specializes in helping clients manage anxiety, depression, anger, and relationship issues. Contact Bree today to schedule your initial session.

www.PrivateCounselingGA.com Private Counseling provides mental health therapy and counseling services to adults and adolescents in Atlanta, GA.