Turn on the TV, look at social media, or overhear conversations at work and you will be inundated with negativity, fear, danger, and concerns. It’s not realistic to live in a bubble (although, sometimes that seems like a nice option). It can be easy to get drawn into the daily “crises” of life. However, if you live each day as a crisis, you will live each day with fear, failure, and fatigue.
 | Resilience is rebounding from pain and danger (actual or perceived). We need resilience to build confidence and self-esteem. When we face difficult situations, we become stronger by experiencing it (instead of running away from it) and learning from it. This process allows us to believe in our ability to handle other, difficult situations in the future. |
I was recently introduced to a new parenting term: Lawnmower Parent. This type of parent is someone who believes they must “mow” down the path of difficulty for their child to succeed. I worked as a middle school counselor for 14 years and saw many parents “advocating” excessively for their children. For example, arguing and disputing assignments where their child received a less-than-acceptable grade; complaining to principal about said teacher; posting online/complaining to other parents about teachers; getting a educational diagnosis for extended time on tests so their child has more time to get a higher score; begging teachers for extensions on projects because their child procrastinated or forgot; leaving work to bring their child an assignment they forgot to avoid a reduced grade for late work (just to name a few!).
How are these children going to be able to learn to be resilient if they don’t experience any obstacles to overcome? Do you want your child (or yourself) to be so scared of failure, of not being “perfect”, that you: Don’t set high goals? Don’t try to reach your dreams? Don’t allow yourself to feel the pride of recovering from pain?
How are these children going to be able to learn to be resilient if they don’t experience any obstacles to overcome? Do you want your child (or yourself) to be so scared of failure, of not being “perfect”, that you: Don’t set high goals? Don’t try to reach your dreams? Don’t allow yourself to feel the pride of recovering from pain?
There are some simple, daily activities you can practice to help you reframe how you approach life.
1. Mantra – This is the practice of repeating a phrase. For counseling, choosing a phrase that is meaningful, positive, and centers you on a healthy focus.
1. Mantra – This is the practice of repeating a phrase. For counseling, choosing a phrase that is meaningful, positive, and centers you on a healthy focus.
- For example: “I am capable.” “I can handle this.” “Feelings are temporary.” “This pain will pass – breathe.” “Breathe in strength (or other positive concept). Breathe out fear (or other negative concept that is holding you back).”
 | 2. Visualization – This is the practice of actively imagining a positive outcome. For counseling, you can visualize a calming place if you are experience stress, visualize accomplishing a goal, visualize preparing to successfully handle a difficult conversation or experience.
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3. Daily Positivity – When you wake up each morning, choose to visualize (hope) something good will happen to you or someone you love today. It starts your day on a positive path of looking for goodness in the world!
If you need help understanding, applying, or processing these daily practices, therapy may be beneficial for you.
If you need help understanding, applying, or processing these daily practices, therapy may be beneficial for you.
Author
Bree Winkler is a licensed professional counselor in Atlanta, GA. Bree specializes in helping clients manage anxiety, depression, anger, and relationship issues. Contact Bree today to schedule your initial session.
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