Self-Doubt: Is this happening to you?

​Synonyms: uncertainty, hesitation, disbelief, reservation; skepticism, distrust, ​suspicion, questioning

Have you ever experienced self-doubt? Have you questioned your ability to do something well or “right”? Have you ever believed that others seem to think you are not capable or smart (or helpful or funny or kind or millions of other worries)? I know I have. Self-doubt is the worst! How can I feel good about myself, confident in my abilities, or happy and secure if I am doubting myself? 

Self-doubt is a stressor that needs to be managed. Managing means decreasing the belief that the self-doubt is real. When you manage the stressor, you are managing your anxiety. 

     Here is a tip to help you cope with this stressor:  

First, write down your worry (the stressor). 

Next, write an affirmation (a positive statement) that is opposite of the worry.
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For example: If your worry is “I am not sure if I am able to do this;” your affirmation can be “I can try my best to accomplish this.”  

Finally, repeat and rewrite the affirmation 5-10 times. Restate this each time you have the worry. 
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With practice, you will minimize your worries and self-doubt so you feel better overall! 

** Now, you try it. Ask yourself “what is bothering me right now?” Write it down. Follow the steps above. 

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     Here is how it works for me:

Me: I am not valued at work.

Affirmation: I do my best and I cannot be expected to please everyone.

Repeat: I do my best and I cannot be expected to please everyone. (breathe/exhale) I do my best and I cannot be expected to please everyone. (breathe/exhale/relax muscles) I do my best and I cannot be expected to please everyone. (breathe/exhale/relax muscles/smile) I do my best and I cannot be expected to please everyone! (breathe/exhale/relax muscles/smile/let go of the self-doubt)
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Afterwards: I feel calmer (and more confident). I needed this time to reframe my negative, self-doubting thoughts, so I could be ready to experience something new and better than my previous thoughts. 

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This process is not easy. Managing anxiety is not easy. Sometimes, it will feel like a full-time job. It is exhausting. The good news is that relief will occur; you WILL feel better with practice. Don’t give up on yourself! 

​If you need help navigating this process, Contact Bree Winkler LPC today to schedule an initial counseling session.