“I Am Who I Choose To Be” said Lois McMaster Bujold.
We are our choices. We can choose to control our choices, actions, and behaviors. The act of choosing to have self-control takes practice and time.
Thoughts <---> Feelings ---> Behaviors
Our Thoughts create Feelings (positive and negative); Our Feelings create Thoughts
(positive and negative) – This is a dynamic relationship that occurs quickly and repeatedly. After we think our thoughts and feel our feelings, we choose to act (Behave) in a specific way. Sometimes our choice of our behavior is conscious (we are aware we made this decision) and sometimes our choice of a behavior is subconscious (we are unaware of our decision making process).
Our Thoughts create Feelings (positive and negative); Our Feelings create Thoughts
(positive and negative) – This is a dynamic relationship that occurs quickly and repeatedly. After we think our thoughts and feel our feelings, we choose to act (Behave) in a specific way. Sometimes our choice of our behavior is conscious (we are aware we made this decision) and sometimes our choice of a behavior is subconscious (we are unaware of our decision making process).
Changing Behavior from subconscious to conscious requires PRACTICE and time.
P – Putting (what do we need to put inside ourselves to manage our thoughts and
feelings?)
R – Right (no harm to self or others)
A – Actions,
C – Choices, and
T – Thoughts
I – Into
C – Consciousness
E – Everyday!
P – Putting (what do we need to put inside ourselves to manage our thoughts and
feelings?)
R – Right (no harm to self or others)
A – Actions,
C – Choices, and
T – Thoughts
I – Into
C – Consciousness
E – Everyday!
How do you accomplish this?
You must be aware of your thoughts! What does that mean? Be mindful of what you are thinking and honest with how you feel. For example, often we tell others we are “angry” when we are really embarrassed, hurt, scared, frustrated, overwhelmed, or many other emotions. If you are honest with yourself and mindful, you can identify your true feeling. When you know your accurate feelings, you can choose how to respond (behavior) that is in your best interest.
Example
Situation: You are at work and a coworker insults your project ideas in front of a group, which includes your boss.
P – Put (utilize positive self-talk including reminders of 1. presenting a professional attitude,
2. plusses of your idea and reminder that others are allowed to have
differinng opinions 3. coworker’s hostile attitude is a negative reflection on them,
not you)
R – Right (calming breathing techniques instead of yelling or insults)
A – Action (choosing to respond appropriately – see Choice -- based on self-talk)
C – Choice (thinking through alternatives and picking best option)
T – Thought (replacing 3 positive thoughts for every negative thought about coworker and
self)
I – Into
C – Consciousness (awareness)
E – Everyday (and several times per day)!
Your CHOICE is who you choose to be! A mindful, conscious choice
leads you to an aware, healthy, and helpful outcome. Repeat often and carefully!
If you need help 1) being mindful 2) being able to PRACTICE good
choices and/or 3) being aware of your feelings, contact Bree today to schedule
an initial counseling session.
You must be aware of your thoughts! What does that mean? Be mindful of what you are thinking and honest with how you feel. For example, often we tell others we are “angry” when we are really embarrassed, hurt, scared, frustrated, overwhelmed, or many other emotions. If you are honest with yourself and mindful, you can identify your true feeling. When you know your accurate feelings, you can choose how to respond (behavior) that is in your best interest.
Example
Situation: You are at work and a coworker insults your project ideas in front of a group, which includes your boss.
P – Put (utilize positive self-talk including reminders of 1. presenting a professional attitude,
2. plusses of your idea and reminder that others are allowed to have
differinng opinions 3. coworker’s hostile attitude is a negative reflection on them,
not you)
R – Right (calming breathing techniques instead of yelling or insults)
A – Action (choosing to respond appropriately – see Choice -- based on self-talk)
C – Choice (thinking through alternatives and picking best option)
T – Thought (replacing 3 positive thoughts for every negative thought about coworker and
self)
I – Into
C – Consciousness (awareness)
E – Everyday (and several times per day)!
Your CHOICE is who you choose to be! A mindful, conscious choice
leads you to an aware, healthy, and helpful outcome. Repeat often and carefully!
If you need help 1) being mindful 2) being able to PRACTICE good
choices and/or 3) being aware of your feelings, contact Bree today to schedule
an initial counseling session.
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