I have passion for my goals, so I prep and plan. I’m smart and educated. I’m a good person. Of course, everything will work out exactly how I always thought it would.
Except, it didn’t!?!
I’m confused. And I feel sad, disappointed, frustrated, and sometimes angry.
How did this happen? Is it really true that I can’t have what I’ve always wanted? Did I really run out of time to accomplish this goal? Should I have made different choices along the way? Do I have to change my dreams, modify my goals … adjust??
Welcome to reality. It feels like a slap in the face. It hurts me emotionally. It fills my brain with racing thoughts. I repeat my unanswered question “why not?” to no avail. I feel defeated and lost. I want the outcome to be different. I want to know what I did wrong and how I can get back on track to reach my goals.
Then, I remember: I am a counselor. I help people work through these same questions. I have 2 options: 1) I can wallow in self-pity or 2) I can accept this disappointment and adjust.
Let’s look at my options:
Except, it didn’t!?!
I’m confused. And I feel sad, disappointed, frustrated, and sometimes angry.
How did this happen? Is it really true that I can’t have what I’ve always wanted? Did I really run out of time to accomplish this goal? Should I have made different choices along the way? Do I have to change my dreams, modify my goals … adjust??
Welcome to reality. It feels like a slap in the face. It hurts me emotionally. It fills my brain with racing thoughts. I repeat my unanswered question “why not?” to no avail. I feel defeated and lost. I want the outcome to be different. I want to know what I did wrong and how I can get back on track to reach my goals.
Then, I remember: I am a counselor. I help people work through these same questions. I have 2 options: 1) I can wallow in self-pity or 2) I can accept this disappointment and adjust.
Let’s look at my options:
1) Wallow in Self-Pity –
Pros: I receive (temporary) sympathy from others.
Cons: Friends/Family get sick of hearing me repeat the same complaint over and over; the outcome
doesn’t change; I’m stuck in negative thoughts; I feel miserable.
2) Adjust –
Pros: I make new goals based on my new reality; I’m motivated to focus on a new
adventure/experience; I feel driven and excited; I’m able to live in the present and future instead of
the past.
Cons: It takes time; I have to allow myself permission to realize the future is not a straight path, but a
series of turns that lead me to the best outcome.
My choice is obvious – modify my dreams/goals – but the solution is not easy. Change is difficult, especially when it is unplanned and feels disheartening at first.
I decide to put an Action Plan in place: 1) Allow myself to grieve the change in my plan for a few days
2) Make list of new dreams
3) Set timeline and mini-goals to reach each dream
4) Ask my support system for help, as needed.
My original dream was diverted, but I still have lots of living and dreaming to do! We all need a “reality check” and support system to manage life changes.
Call Bree today to set up an initial counseling session to help with managing life stressors and changes.
Pros: I receive (temporary) sympathy from others.
Cons: Friends/Family get sick of hearing me repeat the same complaint over and over; the outcome
doesn’t change; I’m stuck in negative thoughts; I feel miserable.
2) Adjust –
Pros: I make new goals based on my new reality; I’m motivated to focus on a new
adventure/experience; I feel driven and excited; I’m able to live in the present and future instead of
the past.
Cons: It takes time; I have to allow myself permission to realize the future is not a straight path, but a
series of turns that lead me to the best outcome.
My choice is obvious – modify my dreams/goals – but the solution is not easy. Change is difficult, especially when it is unplanned and feels disheartening at first.
I decide to put an Action Plan in place: 1) Allow myself to grieve the change in my plan for a few days
2) Make list of new dreams
3) Set timeline and mini-goals to reach each dream
4) Ask my support system for help, as needed.
My original dream was diverted, but I still have lots of living and dreaming to do! We all need a “reality check” and support system to manage life changes.
Call Bree today to set up an initial counseling session to help with managing life stressors and changes.
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