By Bree Winkler, EdS, LPC, CAMS
How can you cope with Life’s curveball?
 If you are anything like me, you hope and believe that everything will go well today and in the future for you and your loved ones and you won’t need help from others. It is a wonderful desire. I want to be healthy and safe and financially secure. But, I’m not selfish; I want those things for others also. It is an idealistic world I want to live it. Sometimes it is also a realistic world. So, sometimes reality slaps me (or you) in the face. God, karma, fate, bad luck … whatever you want to call it… can intervene at anytime and change up your happy day. You are planning to have a day/week/month/year/LIFE where you hit the ball out of the park. Homerun! Cheers! Applause! You are happy and beaming! But instead, a curveball is thrown. Your emotional and mental health is shaken. Now you hear whispers and questions. You feel scared and sad and angry and overwhelmed – all at once! This was NOT the plan. Your curveball might be a life-threatening or life-limiting medical diagnosis; it might be losing your job and struggling financially; it might a romantic relationship ending and the devastation seems irreversible; it might be the death of a loved one. Everyone’s curveball is different. Everyone’s pain is personal and intense. Everyone needs help coping with the tragedy (aka curveball). |
* First – know it is okay (and encouraged) to ask for help. Who is your support system? List them and lean on them. If they are struggling also and not mentally prepared to help immediately, contact a qualified and caring therapist for help. I suggest contacting Bree at Private Counseling ;)
* Look at the situation as if it is happening to someone else. What advice would you give to that person?
* Think about what you need right now to manage this problem. Do you need help with completing tasks, finding resources, managing money, networking, expressing your feelings, having someone keep you company, or any other help? Make a list. When people offer to help, remember: they are sincere. Share what you need from your list.
* Acknowledgethis is a difficult time for you. It might not even be fixable (like one of my clients with MS). It is okay to feel sad and upset. Your life is changing, so you need to grieve what you thought it would be so you can move forward in a positive manner.
* Don’t wallow in self pity. The last step in the grieving process is acceptance. This is where you make a plan to manage the curveball. How can you help yourself? What can help improve this situation? What skills and strengths do you possess?
* Develop a list of coping skills. These are things you can do when you start to feel down or hopeless. Some suggestions include: listen to your favorite music, laugh, read, drawing, write in journal, call a friend, watch a favorite movie or TV show, go for a walk, sing, paint, read inspirational quotes, take pictures, exercise, write positive affirmations and stick them around the house, and the list can go on. Create your own helpful coping skills list.
* Continue to check-in with yourself and your support group. Be honest if today is more difficult than yesterday. Be honest with yourself. If today is tough, go back to the other suggestions and implement
various ways to cope. Ignoring a setback will not help you heal.
As I stated at the beginning, I’m sure we would all like to have a life free from pain and disappointment. When you are in a season of your life where that is not a reality, coping (instead of hiding, ignoring,
denying) is the healthy way to help yourself.
Therapy is also a great option for continued, unbiased help for many different curveballs!
* Look at the situation as if it is happening to someone else. What advice would you give to that person?
* Think about what you need right now to manage this problem. Do you need help with completing tasks, finding resources, managing money, networking, expressing your feelings, having someone keep you company, or any other help? Make a list. When people offer to help, remember: they are sincere. Share what you need from your list.
* Acknowledgethis is a difficult time for you. It might not even be fixable (like one of my clients with MS). It is okay to feel sad and upset. Your life is changing, so you need to grieve what you thought it would be so you can move forward in a positive manner.
* Don’t wallow in self pity. The last step in the grieving process is acceptance. This is where you make a plan to manage the curveball. How can you help yourself? What can help improve this situation? What skills and strengths do you possess?
* Develop a list of coping skills. These are things you can do when you start to feel down or hopeless. Some suggestions include: listen to your favorite music, laugh, read, drawing, write in journal, call a friend, watch a favorite movie or TV show, go for a walk, sing, paint, read inspirational quotes, take pictures, exercise, write positive affirmations and stick them around the house, and the list can go on. Create your own helpful coping skills list.
* Continue to check-in with yourself and your support group. Be honest if today is more difficult than yesterday. Be honest with yourself. If today is tough, go back to the other suggestions and implement
various ways to cope. Ignoring a setback will not help you heal.
As I stated at the beginning, I’m sure we would all like to have a life free from pain and disappointment. When you are in a season of your life where that is not a reality, coping (instead of hiding, ignoring,
denying) is the healthy way to help yourself.
Therapy is also a great option for continued, unbiased help for many different curveballs!
Bree is a licensed professional counselor in Atlanta, GA. Contact her today to schedule an individual, family, or couple’s session. She is available to help you!
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