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 We all live in a fast-paced world filled with work, friends, networking, volunteering, family, errands, chores, emergencies, and the list goes on! I know I’m not the only person who wakes up in the morning feeling tired. It takes intrinsic motivation and determination to get up and get ready to tackle the day’s events… only to start all over again tomorrow!
Of course, having places to be and people who depend on me is a blessing. I enjoy being an active member of my community and family, as well as helping people therapeutically. But, sometimes, I question why I am so fatigued. Is it mental exhaustion? Or a physical response to health concerns? Let’s analyze the data:  I have passion for my goals, so I prep and plan. I’m smart and educated. I’m a good person. Of course, everything will work out exactly how I always thought it would.
Except, it didn’t!?! I’m confused. And I feel sad, disappointed, frustrated, and sometimes angry. How did this happen? Is it really true that I can’t have what I’ve always wanted? Did I really run out of time to accomplish this goal? Should I have made different choices along the way? Do I have to change my dreams, modify my goals … adjust?? Welcome to reality. It feels like a slap in the face. It hurts me emotionally. It fills my brain with racing thoughts. I repeat my unanswered question “why not?” to no avail. I feel defeated and lost. I want the outcome to be different. I want to know what I did wrong and how I can get back on track to reach my goals. Then, I remember: I am a counselor. I help people work through these same questions. I have 2 options: 1) I can wallow in self-pity or 2) I can accept this disappointment and adjust. Let’s look at my options: Being a therapist can be an amazing profession full of challenges, heartaches,
and celebration. We see you at your worst and see you at your best, but there is no better reward to see you succeed. Here are 10 aspects of the therapeutic relationship that are either unknowns or common misconceptions. I hope this clarifies what you can expect from working with a therapist. 1. I don’t think you’re crazy.  Happy Valentine’s Day!
It’s a day full of romance, excitement, surprises, and love. Couples happily show their love and appreciate for each other through cards, gifts, and romantic meals. Ahh… love :) Wait! Does everyonefeel this way about Valentine’s Day? Sadly, it is also a day full of high expectations for romance, excitement, surprises, and love. Perhaps you fall into one of these alternative categories: Anxiety is defined as “a state of apprehension” and “distress or uneasiness of mind.” Every person experiences a form of anxiety on a regular basis. Humans worry about money, jobs, relationships, health, choices, and a slew of others major and minor concerns.
We need some anxiety -- it shows us what we don’t like or what we desire to have more of. For example, if you are married and fighting with your spouse all the time, anxiety is reminding you to work harder on creating a happy and healthy relationship so you will not continue to feel miserable or lose your spouse. Another example: if you desire to have more money or status at work, anxiety can motivate you to put in more effort, time, and focus to reach your goal. Anxiety can motivate us to change our current circumstances. This is great!  Wouldn’t it be great to have every day go smoothly? The day would be perfectly balanced emotionally and physically; filled with love and laughter, kind words, support, creativity, affirmation, and sense of accomplishment… without feeling rushed, exhausted, or frustrated!
Oh, what a beautiful day! I struggle with desiring all of these things, but not always being able to achieve this level of happiness every day.  It seems like society has change from hard-working individuals to individuals who feel entitled to deserve more than one works to achieve. When did this change happen? Why did this change happen?
I have several working theories regarding this problem. One possibility is individuals, especially teenagers, expect instant gratification for every single thing! * Someone writes a post on Facebook – hopeful people “like” the comment * Someone posts a photo – eagerly waiting to see how many people comment * Someone sends an email – how long before impatience sets in waiting for a response * Someone sends a text – then sends another because the receiver was too slow to respond * Watching TV – no time for commercials so you upgrade to DVR.  As we approach the season of giving, it is good for your soul to reflect on the positive attributes you possess. Use the following questions and reminders to:
Give T-H-A-N-K-S: T – Time: Do you manage you time or does it manage you? Are you enjoying the moments? What do you do to enjoy each day/week/month? How do you reward yourself once you fulfill your responsibilities? H – Health: Are you breathing? What is your body capable of doing? What are you physical strengths? Are you taking care of your mental health? How do you show your emotions? A – Attitude: Are you grateful and appreciative of your blessings? Do you look at each opportunity as a fun challenge or a difficult task? N – Needs: Are your basic needs met – food, water, shelter? Do you desire more than the basics? Do you believe you deserve more than the basic? I hope so! Make a list of your Wants and begin to fulfill your desires. K – Kindness: Play it forward by helping others. Leverage your skills by using your talent to assist others, both professionally and personally. What are your talents and skills? How can you be of assistance others? S – Sanity: Are you overwhelmed with the busy holiday season, being pulled in many different directions, and losing focus on the importance things in life? Your mental well being and sanity are more important than the excitement of the season! Take time to relax, rejuvenate, and relish in the important things – love, laughter, family, and friends. Are you having difficulty with giving T-H-A-N-K-S to yourself? Contact Bree at Private Counseling to schedule an initial session.  1) Letting the Opinions of Others Control Your Life
It is not what others think, but how you feel about yourself that counts. You need to do exactly what is best for you and for your life. 2) The Shame of Past Failures Your past does not equal your future. Forgive yourself and move forward positively. |
Bree Winkler, LPC, Ed.SMy goal is to help you use coping skills, change thoughts, and manage behaviors in order to decrease anxiety and depression symptoms. Archives
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